Hours in a Day
I've been trying to be more time-conscious. A couple of nights ago I was reading about the things that people engage in that keep us stagnant and in our comfort zones. Food, drink, romantic fixations, movies and social media, all things that are fine in moderation but are often used and abused as security blankets and/or distractions when we are feeling the anxieties that come with change.
I promptly closed the book I was reading, made myself a moscow mule, queued up The Mindy Project to binge watch on Hulu, and began to consume as many calories as humanly possible while engaging in a healthy dose of Facebook stalking on my phone.
Psh. I'm an adult. I can do what I want. I don't have a problem. That book doesn't know me. Stop looking at me that way.
So the next morning (when I rose out of my pretty significant food hangover which I didn't know was a thing but is totally a thing) I really started to consider just how much of my time was dedicated to these escapist activities.
I've discovered that it is obscene how much time I waste on an average no-show day. Like it should be a crime. If my schedule doesn't dictate that I be at a specific place at a specific time for a specific event it is as though that time does not exist to me. At that point I am at the mercy of whimsy and impulse control. Its bad enough that I am the queen of procrastination, even if I have an idea of something I'd like to get done with my window of time there is always something shiny in my peripheral vision that is of higher priority. And boy would I make an excellent poster child for those people who say that social media is destroying this generations attention span and ability to retain information. Hell, simply getting caught up in checking my social media while waiting for response texts takes up, without exaggeration, literally hours of my time. It doesn't matter that I've scrolled through all of the new posts on Facebook like 3 times already, my phone is in my hand, and my thumb manages to find that Facebook app despite it being buried on the third page of a folder on the second page of my phone to deter unintentional use. Clearly that folder strategy is working well for me so far.
And Netflix? Don't even get me started. I don't know where this habit of being "done" with the day when the sun goes down came from, but all productivity seems to halt for me after 7pm, especially if I got some things crossed off of my to-do list that day. Food and drink are usually part of the ritual. Netflix goes on as a reward to myself for another day done and as I relish in my food coma it remains on until its time to boot up in my room on my laptop for me to fall asleep to.
Time management is not my specialty. Obviously. So I decided to make some boundaries for myself.
1. There is no need to watch more than one movie or 3 episodes of any show in one day. Thats enough to unwind and spend time with family, or to fall asleep to on busy days, but not enough to lose the entire evening in.
2. Perhaps drinking should be kept to after 8PM. Having to turn down plans because of the executive decision to start playing with cocktail recipes at 6PM is such a bummer, and shuts down opportunities to go and connect with people and actually, yah know, live life.
3. The phone doesn't need to be within arms reach at all times. If its in hand its a temptation. Phones have this tendency to make noises that can be heard from across the room when texts and calls are received. Thats kind of what makes them phones. Put it down. Be present.
4. Be alone. Its not the worst thing. Its actually kind of awesome. When the TV is off, and the phone is out of hand, and the need to be occupied with the idea of another person is put on the shelf, there is a space to be filled with nothing but you. Space for dancing and singing and playing and exploring what it means to be.
I'm on day two. So far I've rearranged my room, and set up a Keyboard that I stole from my moms storage room. I started playing piano (shocking, I know). I organized my music library and revisited a bunch of old recordings of myself from days long gone. I've gone for two jogs, and started working on some new yoga poses (which is insane because I don't do physical activity). I went through my closet and got rid of some stuff that didn't make me feel fabulous. I made a bunch of phone calls I've been putting off because phone calls are strangely terrifying to me and worked out my schedule for November. I've been eating to give my body fuel to keep going, not to fill the void and shut down.
I keep finding new things to fill the hours. I'm feeling inspired and motivated. I haven't felt this good in a long, long time.
I'll keep you posted!
As always, thank you for reading!